WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
