This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
