Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
