that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
