No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
