You just made me feel so damn special
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
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I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
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Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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