Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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