Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
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Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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