I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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