I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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