I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
