I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
