new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You can't special order awesome
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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