I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
