I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
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Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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