I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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