Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
