Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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