Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
