Porn is love you can see.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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