did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
