Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
