Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
