Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
