Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
