i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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