He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
