She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
