Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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