she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
