Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
