I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
