He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
