would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
