yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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