1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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