I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize