you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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