You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
