this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
