did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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