Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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