It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
