I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
