girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
