He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.