they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.