And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
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Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
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On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.