Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?