i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
