drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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