Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
