I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize