She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
