I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
