real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Porn is love you can see.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
