and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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